When God shows up, HE REALLY SHOWS UP!!!!!  As I lie there waiting on the shot for my headache that they promised I'd get five hours earlier, all I wanted to do was to try to fake everyone out so they'd let me go and I could proceed with my plans.  I was in so much pain that was all I could concentrate on.  Then I literally heard, "Krista, satan wants you dead to get to your boys and ruin their ministry".  God spoke to me and I HEARD it.  Call me crazy if you want.  I've consulted with two pastors and they feel the experience was genuine.  And it was at that moment all suicidal thoughts left me for good.  I held my bible to my chest and prayed like I've never prayed before.  Then I had a talk with satan and said I will die eventually, but it will not be by my own hands, he will NOT get to my boys.  Then the pain started to ease a little.  It never went away, but it was tolerable.  In that room I felt the presence of God.  And ever since, I can't quit writing about things He is leading me to write about.  So that brings me to where I am now.  Still struggling but realizing He has me in His mighty right hand.  I am by no means a preacher, pastor, philosopher, or theologists.  But I am absolutely positive He is giving me the courage and the words to write.  And I will continue to write as He leads me because people are hurting and don't know why.  Before the last meltdown I had read in Corinthians about rejoicing in our trials and tribulations.  And I was angry at God.  I didn't understand then what I understand now.  If we live a life that is happy go lucky, we are just cruising along with no thought of God's supreme power.  But it's when adversity hits us we reach out.  So, as Paul said, I rejoice in my pain.  He had to put me into the flame to wash out all the impurities.  But, that reminds me of the story in the old testament when Shadrack, Meshack, and Abednago was put into the fiery furnish.  An observer didn't just see the three that went in, he saw four.  God was in there with them just as He is with us when we go through the flame.

So to end my story before I begin blogging about revelations He has given me I tell you where I am now.  Doctors have told me that with my condition, I'll never work for money again.  I will be going on disability.  BUT, there is other work to be done.  God's work.  I have removed the clothing of the old Krista and put on the God anointed clothing of the new Krista.  Every day He shows me His miracles...miracles as simple as a storm or the wind blowing through the trees.  I sincerely hope this has helped someone.  We are all in the same boat.  The question is, do you panic when the storm comes as the apostles did, or do you know Jesus is in the boat with you and everything is going to work out.