I'm not going to go into details about the FIRST hospital stay except to say I really just felt numb.  I had emotions I couldn't deal with.  SO, in July my therapist thought it best to go back in...second time is a charm, right? (not really).  I met so many people and I began to listen to each of them and understand that everyone hurts.  Everyone is looking for the one answer that will make everything okay.  I began to learn that if you truly listen to someone, you will know who they are and how much they are hurting.  I started to think that God was bringing me to a place I had never been to before.  Compassion.  I mean, how many times do we really stop and listen to someone without thoughts in the back of our head like, "well, I need to get out of this conversation cause I have stuff to do", or "I wish they would shut up so I can say something".  I was like that.  Jesus wanted us to take care of one another.  He had stuff to do, but if He saw someone in need He would stop and take the time to TRULY listen.  Lots of times you think you have to give them a solution.  That's not the case.  Like with me, I just wanted someone to truly sit and listen and HEAR ME.  I knew they were not professionally equipped to deal with my illness, but just to listen is priceless.  When you get to the point you can sit and truly listen to what someone has to say without being superficial, you find you are the one that receives the blessing and the person feels better because having someone listen to you gives you hope.  My second stay was the longest, 10 days.  I learned so many coping skills and when I felt it appropriate, I would pass it along.  I didn't always do this because you have to know when to keep your opinions to yourself and when to give good, helpful advise as you have learned by the healthcare professionals.  I personally feel God was leading me every step of the way.  I went into outpatient therapy and learned more coping skills.  I met wonderful people that still bring a tear to my eyes when I think of them...I love them soooo much.  We were kindred spirits who understood the pain and was willing to take those painful steps to get out of the pain.

So pray for wisdom today.  God WILL bring it your way.  You'll be surprised.  And when that person comes along that needs to just be heard, truly listen.  Put yourself in a box for awhile and focus on that person.  It all comes down to love people.  Jesus listens to us because of His love for us.  We are to do the same with our brothers and sisters here on earth.   And I mean every human on earth is our brother and sister, no differentiating.  (This will be covered in another blog).

Please pray for me as writing these blogs takes all the courage and bravery I can muster.  I know I'll be criticized, but it's something Jesus is telling me to do and HE is my master and I WILL do as He commands me to do.